She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
