Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
