JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
