I feel like abortions should bother me more
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
