My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
