Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
