i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
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you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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