please come you make the beer taste better
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
