I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
