It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
