He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
