last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I skipped work to stalk him.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
