Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
