moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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