you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
