Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
