worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
