i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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