What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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