Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
BRING THE BAGELS
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
