Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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