i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
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Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
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Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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