I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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