You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
