is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
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lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
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And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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