somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
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The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
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Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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