but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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