The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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