i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Even the bartender felt bad for me
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Randomize
