he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i think my cat just said my name.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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