do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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