Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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