The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
