She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
