He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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