i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
