Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?