Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu

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  (805): she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu http://tfl.nu/ucad
  Replies (12) Good night (7288) Bad night (712)
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  (650): View more from California

  Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair

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  (650): Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair http://tfl.nu/e96b
  Replies (10) Good night (932) Bad night (1963)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you

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  (208): And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you http://tfl.nu/dnhr
  Replies (15) Good night (3165) Bad night (825)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?

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  (352): Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose? http://tfl.nu/yztp
  Replies (23) Good night (4665) Bad night (694)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend

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  (+44): I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend http://tfl.nu/iyod
  Replies (17) Good night (3681) Bad night (1444)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back

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  (602): Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back http://tfl.nu/8iy3
  Replies (2) Good night (2238) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.

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  (301): I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked. http://tfl.nu/v26w
  Replies (13) Good night (3356) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.

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  (207): Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level. http://tfl.nu/8m2b
  Replies (3) Good night (2287) Bad night (592)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Mom said you looked used

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  (910): Mom said you looked used http://tfl.nu/mdwd
  Replies (5) Good night (1510) Bad night (1074)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Elaborate

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Strip Mario-Kart

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  (224): My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream. (312): Elaborate (224): Strip Mario-Kart http://tfl.nu/xw36
  Replies (11) Good night (2610) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am

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  (864): Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am http://tfl.nu/oar5
  Replies (5) Good night (649) Bad night (1282)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you

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  (423): You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you http://tfl.nu/8tmy
  Replies (3) Good night (871) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...

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  (803): I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid... http://tfl.nu/m79e
  Replies (11) Good night (736) Bad night (1227)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  is that what this stuff is?

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  (810): if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you. (616): is that what this stuff is? http://tfl.nu/just
  Replies (2) Good night (614) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.

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  (706): i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house. http://tfl.nu/5m3i
  Replies (1) Good night (528) Bad night (582)

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