That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.