I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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