my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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