I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
