Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize