remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
