I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
