Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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