careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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