i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
