Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
