You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
