my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Dicks are not precious.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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