eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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