He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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