My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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