Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize