I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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