haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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